Alienation

WE’RE ALL CONNECTED… or are we?

We have all manner of technology that keeps us “connected” today but the ultimate irony is how distanced we are from each other. Probably 75% of the people you see on the street these days have cell phones and more than 50% are using them. Why aren’t they hanging out with the people they’re talking to instead of walking alone on the street? Have all our lives become the same multi-tasking events we do at our desks that we have halved our relationships with others? I remember once sitting in a restaurant and seeing three young women being led to a table. Each was talking on her own cell phone. To whom? And what was this doing to their shared dining experience?

Crackberries are all over the place. Yes, I said “crackberries.” Two people I work with are completely lost without theirs. A third is refusing to get one because “I get one of those and my life is over.” It’s become the ultimate electronic leash to one’s boss and office. Text-messaging is now a standard cell phone plan feature, and the Urban Anthropologist hereby predicts that all cell phones will shortly have Qwerty keypads to facilitate more text messaging. However, it’s very unlikely that whole words will make a comeback in the resulting messages.


IN STARBUCKS HALF THE CHAIRS ARE ALWAYS EMPTY

Except for the ones located in shopping malls, Starbucks is the antithesis of the coffeehouse of the beatnik past. In those days people would gather and read each other their poetry, debut their songs, even display their art. You never knew whether the table next to you would contain the next great artistic genius, the future pundit who would be a great talk show guest or columnist, the Urban Anthropologist whose essays on modern man would illuminate the current generation.

Nowadays the tables are typically occupied by solitary souls. The place at the other chair holds the book, notebook (paper or electronic) and the cell phone that optimally connects its owner to other (probably solitary) beings. Some of them are students preparing term papers or studying for finals. Others work, building websites. Others visit MySpace.com or feed their information addiction through surfing. One woman spotted recently was crocheting while watching a DVD, listening through headphones. All are solitary, with looks or body language that doesn’t invite intrusion.

Are these people seeking refuge from crowded households, escape from empty ones, or are they merely enjoying the air conditioning? It is rare to see pairs or groups hang out there, talking leisurely over the soy decaf latte.


VOICEMAIL AND OTHER FORMS OF PASSIVE AGGRESSION

Anyone who works in an office knows that voicemail and e-mail are grossly abused. How many times does a day the average white-collar worker play voicemail tag with clients or colleagues? How many of those times is it deliberate? Every website about office life inevitably has an article that says that the average office worker receives 300 e-mails a day and spends 4 hours dealing with it. Is this faster than talking to someone? How often have you read stories about people e-mailing the person at the next desk about whether they are phoning out or going out for lunch instead of just peeking over the cubicle wall to ask? There is also the joke about a family of three having 10 e-mail addresses. An old friend sometimes laments the lost art of letter-writing; the Urban Anthropologist is mourning conversation.

What would Oscar Wilde or George Bernard Shaw think of Instant Messaging? “The end of civilized discourse” would probably be the first comment. The abbreviated nature of this communication form is poisonous to the bon mots that make conversation memorable and quotable. It’s the next generation of newspeak, the short-attention-span quickbyte that puts a stake in the heart of good grammar, usage, and spelling. We’ve all also had voicemails longer than these.

The Urban Anthropologist refuses to be an apologist for it; educated people need to step back from techno-communications, pick up their pens, and write out invitations. Whether said invitations are for tea or cocktails is irrelevant; the meeting place almost equally so provided that conversation is the key element of the encounter. It would be very fitting for everyone with a local Starbucks and a few friends to commandeer the largest table in it for a regular gathering. With all personal technology turned off to avoid interruptions.